You know, I began to notice the shift in my attitude and mindset when I was in my late 30’s really. And it didn’t happen all at once, it was a gradual change, one that quite honestly I didn’t truly appreciate until I found myself in certain situations, where I actually stepped back and examined my reaction and response. See, I am the type of person who attempts to understand why I react a certain way, why I feel tied to a particular perspective or mindset, to determine if it’s a pattern, or maybe it’s a one time kind of thing.
I like to call it doing a periodic reality check on oneself, you know, just to make sure I don’t need to check myself on a few things, because at some point, in certain situations, we all need to check ourselves and our attitudes!
But I must say, that the closer I got to 40, the more in tune with myself I became, the more okay I found myself being, in terms of how I chose to conduct myself. Now, I’m a work in progress, truly, I don’t pretend that I got it all figured out, but with that said, turning 40 brought about a sense of, damn, I’m a grown azz woman and you know what, I kinda like it! And because I have thought things out, I believe I’m justified in feeling a certain kind of way and I don’t need to explain my reasons beyond what I feel to be necessary! And even then, it depends on who’s asking! You might just get a look and a smile! I’m just sayin…
And that brings me to being 40. This age has brought about a clearer understanding of just what I expect from others, from myself, from situations that I knowingly place myself in. It has deepened my resolve to be openminded to other people’s perspectives, viewpoints, and to curb my inner judgmental voice, because sometimes that inside voice likes to vocalize what is better kept as a silent comment.
Overall, being in the 40 club is liberating! It’s embracing the fact that you are in fact a grown up and with that comes a certain kind of mental freedom if you will. You know what you will tolerate and what you won’t. By this age you know your worth and will fight for it. You have a set of standards that work for you and you set boundaries for those who need them.
At the same time, you know that you’re always evolving into a better “you“, so you want to make sure that you remain conscious of that fact, and not get stuck in the “I’m grown and I can’t and won’t change” mode. Just take stock of the lessons that you’ve learned along the way, find ways to enjoy this time in your life, and remember that age is truly just a number.
Dawn M. Edwards 