“Friends, how many of us have them? Friends, ones we can depend on…” for anyone who is a fan of old school hip hop, then you are already knowing and singing along to Whodini right about now!
I’ve been thinking about the subject of friendship for some time now because in all honesty, the older I get, the fewer “friends” I realize I have. Now that in and of itself is not a bad thing. Quite the contrary matter of fact. See for me, being a friend takes more than just knowing someone for a lot of years. It means that person matters to you, so much so that you are gonna make sure that he/she knows just how much. That may be a periodic text or phone call. That could be a monthly get together with your girlfriends over dinner and drinks. With social media being so available and convenient, it could be a message on FB or Twitter.
At this point in life, I have come to know a lot of people either through school or work or just the way you meet people along your life’s journey. Some became and have remained friends, others are acquaintances who never quite got to the “friends” level. But when it comes to those who are considered friends, there inevitably comes a time when it’s necessary to re-categorize them.
By this I mean, we all tend to lump people we know in the friend category, and usually it’s because we’ve known someone for so long it feels wrong not to call them a friend, especially if you were close once upon a time. Calling them an acquaintance doesn’t feel quite right, yet they may not necessarily be someone in your inner circle either. Or they were and due to life and the changes it brings, you may find that you grew apart while you grew as individuals.
The thing is, you gotta be reality based when it comes to those you consider friends. You gotta be willing to meet them where they are. Even if where they are now is not where they were a couple of months ago! Hey, people change. Close friends sometimes grow apart. Sometimes the more you grow as an individual you find that your just not compatible with that person anymore. But you need to figure it out and make peace with it so you can better fit that person into your life.
Bottom line is this: when it comes to having true friends you first gotta be a true friend. You gotta stay connected. Fight for one another and your friendship when it’s necessary. Don’t get lazy or allow yourself to take that friendship for granted by letting yourself get so distracted by life’s chaos that you find yourself repeating how busy you are and excusing yourself for being too tired to reach out. If you care about someone, let them know. Let your words back up your actions. And remember the only folks you need in your life are the ones who need you in theirs…