Learning, Forgiving and Evolving in 2019

As a social and political activist, mother, and Black Woman, I am inspired to write everyday by what I see playing out in society, and I am just getting started! Words are powerful: they can influence and be hugely impactful, and I take pride in calling myself a writer. Writing for me is a personal journey, which began at the age of eight when I wrote my first ghost story, and throughout the years, (I must say) it has helped shape and cultivate me into a unique, creative, imaginative, enlightened, funny, surprising, bizarre, dark, self-aware individual!

As a Woman in my 40’s- I’m 45 by the way…  I’m inspired by the lessons I’ve learned in my 45 years. I have loved deeply on levels I never would have imagined possible. I have experienced loss, the kind that stops life in its tracks, that makes you question your resolve. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, some that left me shaking my head and asking myself, “what the hell was I thinking?!”  But all in all, I can fortunately say that for the most part, I have learned from those mistakes and I continue to see the growth within myself which is proof that I am incorporating the lessons into my daily life and writings.


The one lesson that I’ve learned and that I firmly believe helps you persevere through the rough patches is having a strong and firm belief in yourself and an understanding of your self-worth. Let me say that again: You must Believe in Yourself. You have to be willing to accept “failure” so you can learn the critical skill of adaptation. And it means not compromising on your most important values, and walking the walk, rather than just talking the talk. … Self-belief is the most important belief there is.

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Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com


Now, there comes a time in everyone’s life, where you experience an “AHA” moment.. Where you have a moment of extreme clarity, where literally every single thing in your life seems so clear and you can actually envision the precise pathway you need to walk in order to get where you’re trying to get. Where everything that has led up to that mystical, magical moment, at last make sense. And you can finally exhale..

But before that happens, best believe you are going to experience life in its most difficult of forms, and all of its twists and turns! And if you happen to be blessed with the kind of luck as I happen to be, then you will experience multiple trials and tribulations throughout your life journey. Now it was during those times where I felt as if there were a gloomy shadow being cast over my aspirations and goals. And that is when I experienced my “AHA” moment.


When you find yourself faced with adversity, when obstacle after obstacle seems to find its way in your path to success and personal growth, it can be disheartening and can cause you to either wallow in self-pity and get stuck in the “why is this happening to me?” phase, or you can take the stance of, “ok, this happened and it sucks, but what do I do now?”

You have to tell yourself that adversity is inevitable in life and there really is no way to avoid or resist it, and trust me if you attempt to, it will only make it persist. Everywhere you look in the world there is unmistakable struggle. There are floods, tsunamis, wars, and tragedies of all types. Even within your own circle of family and friends there is death, loss and tragedy. Although pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. So what do you do?


Well, one important thing that you do, is work on cultivating your internal well-being, and by that I mean your emotional strength, courage and self-discipline. When you make yourself aware that certain difficulties are inevitable, you can prepare yourself mentally for confronting adversity head-on.

Have you ever wondered just how is it that some people can bounce back and find a way to overcome misfortune and defeat? The number one that they don’t do is allow themselves to become overwhelmed and overshadowed with negative emotions or thoughts. They make sure to take time to process what they’ve been through, then they keep moving forward. Their mental fortitude lifts them up to seek opportunities instead of dwelling in despair.

The thing to keep in mind is that everything in life has its place and purpose. Find a way to accept what has happened and discover a way to grow and become stronger and mentally healthier. What you will walk away with is the lesson that you have the fortitude to take on any obstacle and use is as a form of mental energy to motivate and inspire you despite of it all.


Now, there is another key tactic that I want to mention. It’s something that I feel often gets overlooked but truth be told, it’s so crucial to our mental health! With that being said, it might seem unthinkable to find anything funny when you’re struggling after dealing with some of life’s drama and possibly surviving a traumatic event. But sometimes just taking a step back and seeing the humor of the situation can help lighten your mood and allow you to move forward. You may not be chuckling in the midst of a major setback, but give yourself some time. Finding your sense of humor when facing adversity is an effective and healthy way to build resilience, no matter how bad your situation.

Just remember that although you may not realize it at the time, getting knocked down may be just what you need at that moment in time. And when you find yourself in that situation, remember  to call on another invaluable inner resource that we all have at our disposal: Faith in ourselves! Have faith that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, that things will work out, and always know that … This Too Shall Pass, So Don’t Worry… You Got This!









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